Hiding a Mental Illness

I remember being bullied back in high school and I think that is where it all started. I pretended to be sick so that I wouldn't have to go in to school and made up so many excuses to get out of seeing people. Then I moved up to Sixth Form and I thought things would finally change but I couldn't have been more wrong. The more I think about it the more I realise just how much I would isolate myself. Making up lies to get out of class and to avoid social situations. I've lost count of the amount of times I skipped college to avoid public speaking and presentations. I stopped blogging, deleted my Instagram, I just decided to hide myself away from the world. 
It was only this past year that I started to read up on mental illnesses and it took me a very long time to finally mention it to my doctor. She referred me to online CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) which is a talking therapy that is supposed to help you manage your issues by changing the way you think and behave. The fact that it was online was what made me do it as the thought of sitting and talking to a stranger about my 'problems' made me feel sick. I would read a topic each week that would talk about different ways to manage worrying and it would also include real life stories from other people that made me think wow, that is actually me. I kept this all to myself for a good 6 or so months before I told any of my family and even longer to mention it to my friends. It is a very hard topic and it's difficult to know if someone is going to understand or stop talking to you because they see you differently now. 
The programme included a journal where I could write things down and each week, my progress would be reviewed by my online supporter who would give me advice and talk me through what I had written down. For a while it worked but it got to the point where I couldn't concentrate on all of the reading, so I would forget all of the information straight after I had read it. Things got worse on my end, I was living alone, skipping work to stay in bed, making up excuses to avoid going out and I felt like the online therapy just wasn't enough so I went back to the doctors and was put on anxiety medication. This time they said that I needed more intense therapy that couldn't be achieved online. I was extremely anxious about this and put it off for months whilst I tried to deal with it on my own, but there is only so much you can bottle up inside before you breakdown. I started out with having therapy over the phone for the first couple of months, just to get used to my therapists voice and get used to talking to someone. As the weeks went on, I grew very attached to her, I poured my heart out to her and it felt amazing afterwards. I started to help myself as well as accept help from others and I finally found the courage to go and talk to her in person. She became my safety net and was the only person I would talk to. 
She saw me at my worst and after a chat with my GP I was also put on anti depressants as well as the anxiety medication which I actually rely on now. Then, my therapist left the practice which sent me straight downhill, once you open up to someone and start trusting them, I don't know if it's just me but the thought of having to start all over again sends my anxiety into overdrive. I felt like I was back at the beginning and all the progress I had made went down the drain. Due to the huge waiting list for therapists, at the time of this happening I couldn't get an appointment for 6 weeks, which is due at the beginning of October. I have been relying on my medication which is something I never wanted to do but thankfully my GP was kind enough to start seeing me twice a week so that I still had someone I trusted to talk to. 
I know they say to always have family or friends that you can talk to but believe me, in my case I wish I never even told them I was suffering. Some of my friends/family understand mental health and they are amazing to talk to but unfortunately not everyone gets it. The amount of times I hear "they've got it a lot worse than you", "what do you even have to be depressed about?", "you need to sort it out" etc. It all makes me feel like absolute shit. People start treating you differently when they know you have a mental illness. Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen to you. Not to judge, not to make you feel worse about yourself, just some reassurance is sometimes all it takes. I know this isn't the most positive post considering it is my first one in over 2 years.. I have been trying to write this post for months now and I finally got there, just had to get it all written down and I do feel a bit better for it now. Sophie x  

My First Thomas Sabo Bracelet*

So I was very lucky to have been accepted onto the Jewel Hut campaign via etailPR, meaning that I was sent a very stunning Thomas Sabo bracelet. I have to be honest, I haven't really heard much about Thomas Sabo, whenever I think of bracelets/charms I automatically look towards Pandora and always have done. To check out the range of TS bracelets, click here.

The bracelet that I got sent it the Thomas Sabo Silver and White Pearl Beads String Bracelet and it really is gorgeous. The main thing that I love about this is that it fastens by pulling the two strings, meaning that you don't have to worry about it being to big/small as it is adjustable. This fits me absolutely perfectly and looks so pretty when it's on. The bracelet looks quite bulky due to the pearls but it does not feel like that at all once it's on, it feels so light I even forgot at one point that I was wearing it! This specific TS bracelet is one that just holds one charm, which I think is better in a way as it doesn't overcrowd it or make it heavy. I have been wearing a Pandora bracelet for 2 years now, so it is good to now have another bracelet suitable for every day wear, I chose the white one as I thought it would be easier to pair with outfits being a natural colour. 

The prices are close to Pandora, however this bracelet is slightly cheaper than any Pandora bracelet at £25.95. The charms for these bracelets start at £19.95, which is quite pricey if you think about it but having this bracelet means I will only need one. I already have my eye on a gorgeous crown charm to finish off the bracelet and I cannot wait to buy it! Overall I am very happy with my new bracelet, I think they are definitely worth the splurge if you are wanting to treat yourself/someone or just fancy a change from Pandora. I love how this looks on and I think it would definitely look amazing on anyone. You can find the range of all the Thomas Sabo bracelets on the Jewel Hut website here. Again, thank you to etailPR and The Jewel Hut for this gorgeous addition to my jewellery box!

What do you think of this bracelet? Do you have anything from Thomas Sabo? Let me know!

Boots No7 Mini Eye Palette

Shall we just start by admiring this absolutely gorgeous palette?! As soon as I spotted it on the shelves in Boots I knew it had to be mine. The colours are literally stunning and has everything you need in a handy little case. In this palette you get 8 shades which are a mixture of textures, a double ended brush and a large mirror. The packaging is also very lightweight making this the perfect palette to take out with you (the colour is also lovely!). I love the range of colours as it makes perfect for easily creating day to night looks without having to grab another palette. 

I was very impressed by the colour pay off, as you can expect from most palettes the darker colours are a lot more pigmented than the lighter shades but still they are pretty great. The shades are very buttery if that's the right word, so easy to blend you cannot fault them. They also don't have that much fall out which is another fantastic thing about this as I know with some heavy shimmer shades you get more under your eye than you do on your actual lid. I love that one of the colours can also be used as a highlighter - that top left hand shade looks amazing right in the center of your lid. If you want to see what it looks like, check my Valentines post here where I used it to create an easy day or night eye look. 

Overall I am very impressed with this palette, I find myself reaching for it every single day. It is £11 which I think is reasonable for what you get and you can find it online/in store at Boots or you can click here.


What do you think of this? Let me know below!

Benefit They're Real vs. W7 Absolute Lashes*

Dupe alert? Honestly, when I opened my package from W7 and saw this mascara I immediately saw the similarities between this and Benefit's They're Real (the packing for the larger Benefit mascara is literally the exact same, whereas I have the smaller size which is obviously different). Not only is the packaging pretty much spot on but I then noticed how similar the wands are as well. So, how did they do when I put them up to the test? I can put one of each mascara on each of my eyes and not even tell which one they are. That is how similar they are in terms of the formula! If anything, the W7 mascara does actually make my lashes look a tiny bit fuller than the Benefit one, which is great for me as it means I don't have to do multiple coats. 
The mascara's both apply to my lashes exactly the same, separating them equally and both making my lashes looks long and fluttery. The one difference I did find was that normally when I wear mascara, half way during the day I look in the mirror and have little black prints below my lower lashes. However, this did NOT happen with the W7 mascara and I was so shocked! (in a good way). I wore the Absolute Lashes to college for a good 9/10 hours by the time I got home and my lashes looked the exact same as before I left the house. I can quite honestly say I don't think I have come across such a good dupe until now! W7 really have done well here I can tell you that.
Another benefit of the W7 mascara is that it is actually easier to take off than the Benefit one, the perfect mascara right? I really am so impressed with the latest addition to my mascara family and I haven't touched my They're Real since (sorry Benefit lovers! ;)) Do you want another amazing fact about the W7 mascara? I know you do... well here it is, it's only £6.95! Compared to the full size of the Benefit which is £19.50. Overall as you can probably tell I really like the Absolute Lashes and it is literally perfect for those who don't want to pay out almost £20 for a mascara.
What do you think of this? Will you be picking one up to try?

Charlotte Tilbury | 'Glastonberry'

This is currently my favourite lip colour, so I thought it was time to give you a review/my thoughts on this beauty of a lipstick. Firstly, I cannot even tell you just how stunning the colour is - the perfect dark lip for the winter months. I still like to wear darker colours even as we approach spring, I just find they compliment me a lot more than pinks/nudes. The shape of the bullet is literally one of the best things about these lipsticks, I've never seen any like this before? The square angled tip makes applying this so much easier as you can get right into the corners of your lips without making a mess! 
Oh, did I mention this lipstick is matte? Makes it even better as matte lipsticks are my thing at the moment, can't get enough of them! The lasting power of this lipstick is great - I wore it to college to test how long it lasts when I have a busy day. I applied it around 8am and the lipstick only started fading around 3pm. I had eaten a lot of food that day and it still stayed on which was very impressive! Once this starts to fade it leaves such a lovely tint on the lips, so I didn't reapply it as I was only going home! 
The packaging of these lipsticks - need I say more? They are absolutely beautiful to look at! Such a gorgeous colour, it's so nice to have lipsticks that look amazing on the outside as well. I cannot even find one fault about this, they also smell incredible. Very sweet just like the MAC lipsticks! I swatched this on my hand about an hour ago and I can still smell the vanilla scent! These lipsticks are £23 each, which is very pricey but I got it for Christmas. However knowing how amazing they are I would definitely purchase one myself as a treat! You can find them here.
Do you own a Charlotte Tilbury lipstick? Let me know below what you think of this one!

SimplyLovelyThings | Home Decor

Today is a post on my lovely friends shop. I was sent this by Tara to show you guys and give you a little look at her gorgeous things! I absolutely love this, it is the perfect addition to any room! 
These are all handmade by Tara, and you get to choose any quote you want which makes them very personal! You could get a quote that means something special to you or something personal to a friend that you could give to them as a gift. Obviously I chose the quote from The Fault in our Stars because I just love it. I was so happy when I received this, it looks lovely in my white room and I am definitely going to get some more with inspirational quotes! (I believe Mother's Day is coming up soon, so these would make an excellent gift with a special message on!)
These aren't all that Tara sells, she also sells chalkboards in the same heart style as this wooden heart above. I have my eye on these as they are perfect to leave little messages or notes on! (£6)  A new addition to her shop is a personalised Wedding countdown heart (£9.99) for those due to be married which I think are so so cute! These are a cross between the wooden heart and the chalkboard as you will see below... 

             

(image from Tara's website)

How fricking cute is that?! I think these make the perfect engagement gift, I have never seen anything like it before! As well as these, she also sells:

• mini wooden hearts pegs 
• bunting necklaces 
• wooden heart magnets 
• flower charm necklace 
• Cath Kidston themed false nails 
• blue glitter ombré false nails
• custom false nails
• check out her instagram to see some more upcoming products!

Her prices are amazing, all under £10! You can find Tara's shop here. Also, if you spend over £5, use the discount code 'simplysxph10' for 10% off! 

You can also find her here - 
Twitter - @SLThings_
Facebook - Simply Lovely Things 
Instagram - @simplylovelythings_
Web - www.simply-lovely-things.co.uk

Instagram hashtag - #slthings

Let me know if you are going to check out any of these amazing things! I'm thinking a chalkboard and another wooden heart are next on my list!

love,

NYX Simply Vamp Lip Cream

So after browsing a quite a few websites for the NYX soft matte lip cream in 'Copenhagen' and having no such luck, I came across this beauty instead. I haven't tried many products from NYX but I was drawn in by colour. I bought this from a UK seller on eBay for £7.95, I was pleased to know that they all come brand new and sealed as well. Unfortunately I cannot find this exact shade by the same seller anymore which is a shame but I'm sure you could find it elsewhere! However, the seller sells a lot of NYX at amazing prices (they have the pink and nude lip creams) and you can find them here.

The shade is 'she devil' and the colour is just stunning, I don't think I own any quite like this! The product is extremely creamy, very easy to apply but not that type of lip product that slips and slides everywhere. It actually gives a matte finish (when applied without a lip balm), not shiny like a satin finish and has very good staying power! Once it started to fade it left a lovely stain on my lips, so I didn't feel the need to reapply as personally I loved the look. I am very glad I got this because it is the perfect shade to have as your winter lip colour and a good price too.

Here is a swatch of the colour, however it looks more of a very dark red when applied to my lips. I love the finish it gives, it's one of those lip products I can wear without a lip balm underneath yet it doesn't cling to any dry patches or dry my lips out. 

What do you think of this colour? Have you tried any NYX products? Let me know down below!

love,